It was that moment that I realized I was truly free to do whatever I wanted in this world and it was completely up to me to make it happen. It was my life, and I had to stop caring what people thought about it. If I wanted to bake, I should. If I wanted to write, I should. If I wanted to start a company, I should. If I wanted to do nothing, I should. If I wanted to f--- up for once, I should.
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Though I still only have vague dreams about the destination, I’m no longer constantly looking for the exit, and that’s how I know I’m on the right road. The caveat here is that studying hard my whole life and saving for almost 5 years afforded me the opportunity to have this time completely off payroll, but I think that everyone has the right and responsibility to go to Joshua Tree, metaphorically speaking. Everyone can dial everything back; the hard part is listening to what you have to say and doing something about it.
Read more: https://medium.com/this-happened-to-me/why-i-left-google-c02f1ff471c6#ixzz3J4asSoqO
What has been driving me? Why do I do what I do? Because it had felt to be the right logical thing to do... why so much conflict the past years in the role decisions? Because on one hand being "successful" meant doing something I didn't quite fancy or imagine myself enjoying while on the other hand, I felt like I had been stagnant and unaccomplished by doing what I felt like I wanted to do. But in any case, I did take that product team role and am doing some creating! :) It's a start. I'm not successful in terms of position or salary, but for now I'm happy.
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The truth is that going off the rails into the complete unknown is terrifying and it’s lonely — some days I’m so paralyzed with fear about everything I can hardly do anything, but the other truth is a really important and big one: For the first time in my life, my identity is not 100% tied to my accomplishments, I care less about what people think of me, and I spend more time on work that feels right. I am improving my ability to listen to my inner voice and not judge what it wants. I can question myself and answer truthfully.
For me, the answers to those questions led me to make some big changes in my work life, like giving up the job, exploring projects I used to think weren’t worthy enough of my time (baking) and building a start up that is risky and deeply personal (Mend).
...Though I still only have vague dreams about the destination, I’m no longer constantly looking for the exit, and that’s how I know I’m on the right road. The caveat here is that studying hard my whole life and saving for almost 5 years afforded me the opportunity to have this time completely off payroll, but I think that everyone has the right and responsibility to go to Joshua Tree, metaphorically speaking. Everyone can dial everything back; the hard part is listening to what you have to say and doing something about it.
Read more: https://medium.com/this-happened-to-me/why-i-left-google-c02f1ff471c6#ixzz3J4asSoqO
What has been driving me? Why do I do what I do? Because it had felt to be the right logical thing to do... why so much conflict the past years in the role decisions? Because on one hand being "successful" meant doing something I didn't quite fancy or imagine myself enjoying while on the other hand, I felt like I had been stagnant and unaccomplished by doing what I felt like I wanted to do. But in any case, I did take that product team role and am doing some creating! :) It's a start. I'm not successful in terms of position or salary, but for now I'm happy.
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