day off!

I was supposed to fly to Rome from Sept 23 to Oct 1 for the beatification of Chiara Luce Badano. Arrangements like visa and passport didn't quite fall into place but nevertheless I was able to know about her beautiful life and in a way maybe that was God's intention. :)

I still am taking a week off from work even if the trip is cancelled. It's MEEEE TIMEEE!
Things I have lined up:

• exercise time - daily yoga at eastwood
• go to the mall and spend girl time with Lalee and Mama
• John Mayer concert
• spend time with friends - badminton with LD, meetups with HS friends
• create the australia blurb book
• take time to pray and feed my soul

What is your phantom?

Some notes from the sessions i'm attending at Loyola school of theology..

1. Need to be perfect - BEING LIKE GOD
     creating order based on rules
     this is very common
     people who follow doctrines per word (bookish, en punto)
     when essentially God asked us 2 things only - to love God above all things and love our neighbor like how God loves them
     there is a drive to be worthy, but the right idea is that we are in a constant cycle to perfection (but never actually reach that)
2. Need to be needed - SERVICE
     becomes wrong when you think/demand something in return after
3. Need to succeed (or seem successful) - IMAGE
     creates the need to have a mask to cover our ugly side
     we are driven by society's definition of successful (money, position)
4. Need to be special - DIFFERENT / UNIQUE
     common in artists
5. Need to be analytic - INTELLIGENCE
     we think we can control the world through our intelligence
6. Need to be safe & secure - FEAR
     what are you afraid of?
7. Need to do everything well - MAKE THINGS HAPPEN
     when you over do it (too many things), you tend not to focus and not to do things well
     you have a tendency for "flight" when something goes wrong
     counter phobic: when you are afraid of something you take control and turn things around and counter attack
8. Need to lead / control - ORDER based on IDEOLOGY (and justice)
     we want things our way and impose this on others
     danger: pairing up with #2. One serves the other leads
9. Need to be comfortable - PEACE

These are not necessarily bad as long as you do not associate your identity and soul to it. You just have to be yourself. It is important to watch your motives: right deed but wrong reason is still a wrong deed. It's wrong if you do these things for yourself...it should be for others!

i want to fall in love with YOU

I still feel disconnected from Him. 
One time i felt while praying if i'm talking to God ba talaga or to myself lang.
I've been complacent in developing my relationship with Him. 
I've been distracted.
I want to fall in love with Him.
I don't know how.


I want to have a deep and tangible relationship with Him.
I want to truly know that my faith is not just in my head, but in my heart.
I want to feel connected.


I almost started crying when Ailen and myself talked today. Some of the things she said hit very close to home.


Florendo, Ailen:
yeah i know the feeling....work/diff activities tend to eat you up and leaving you empty inside....so its really important that you have the 1:1 with God everyday so that you'll know what to do, how to react, etc. we have to pray to God ..have that conversation with so that we share all our concerns, worries, joys with Him
but the good news is begin and begin again. now is a good oppurtunity...dont wait for the talk in rockwell.
spend 10-15min a day conversing with God
[Me: yun ang prob eh.. parang sometimes i feel crazy and parang think if i'm just talking to myself]
nah God will give you the necessary grace
trying to talk with him is the first step....maybe next  clearing away what hinders you from Him
di ba if you like someone you like to talk with him alot
think of it that way...have a sincere desire to like God because you know in HIm you will find true joy and peace
the joy and peace the the materialistic worlk cannot give