Believing is an article of faith

Found this beautiful song... Article of Faith by Minus Ted


When you cannot find the twinkle of your lucky star
And the constellations won’t reveal your place
When your compass is wavering and you don’t know who you are
Believing is an article of faith

When you know that change is coming and it’s finally time
Desperation guides the chances that you take
When you've used up all your choices and you are shooting blind
Tomorrow is an article of faith

Get back to your cloud tops you angels of woe
I know you’d like to fly me to a darker place
If angels see everything you should already know
I’m just one breath ahead of you today

Like accidental children careening off of walls
Disappointment leaves the spirit in a heap
Everybody climbs the mountain and everybody falls
But you decide the sacraments you keep

So get back to your cloud tops you angels of woe
I know you would like to fly me to a darker place
If angels see everything you should already know
I’m just one breath ahead of you today.

When you cannot find the twinkle of your lucky star
And the constellations won’t reveal your place
When your compass is wavering and you don’t know who you are
Believing is an article of faith
Believing is an article of faith
Believing is an article of faith

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Rough Patch

I've been having a difficult time at work for the past months. I know why but I don't know how to fix it. Remember my Germany trip last August? Let's just say I've been paying for that. I'm getting stressed with this new module which was the reason I was sent.

First, I'm having difficulty learning this new module. It's been 6 months since the trip, and I'm not confident to say that I truly understand this new module. I've got my faults because when I got back I was preoccupied with other roles and I was not able to put to practice what I learned. I really got practical experience only this January when I really started involving myself in the issues. Don't get me wrong, I've been learning. But I feel it's always a catch up. I feel that everyone else is learning more than me. Everyone else knows more than me.

I'm happy for them, I sure am! The problem is that, I'm supposed to be third level support for this module. They are supposed to escalate to me. But how can I support them when I know less? There's this expectation for me to be an expert in this field and right now I'm not. It's a good thing that Fabio is still here and we can escalate to him. But I don't know if I'm learning fast enough. I want to ask questions, but I'm afraid to look to stupid. L2, specially Benson, already has a lot of experience.

Sometimes when the whole situation sinks in, it just makes me sad. It makes me feel how I fall short of expectations. I want to cry. But i know it will not do me any good. But I just want a good cry because I know I'm not strong and I don't have what it takes. I'm failing.

I don't want to quit. I need help. I don't know how to ask for it. I don't want to keep on failing. I need help.