Focus and direction

i'm now reading "Rome sweet Home' and i'm happy in re-discovering my faith.
tonight's reading, i found this prayer actually given by a Christian. It's beautiful nonetheless.


Lord, 
I'll go wherever you want me to go
do whatever you want me to do
say whatever you want me to say
give away whatever you want me to give away


They said, "Yield you heart to him -- trust him". This reminds me of one of MME (now Saint Marie Eugenie) famous quotes -- "My life must be a constant ‘YES!’ to God"

2010 is to Taking Chances

What a timely song to find...saw this like a month ago but I'm falling in love with it more the past few days. It gives me goosebumps or that jumping tummy feeling. All I want to do is to take chances, stop living on the safe side and live more on the edge hehehehe.

Taking Chances (Sang by Celine Dion but written by Kara Dio Guardi)

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world

I've got a feeling, that 2010's gonna be a good year

i've got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night

What's in store for me in 2010? A LOT. Because i've planned a lot, and i'm happy that I did! 2009 was a year of spontaneity. And 2010 for me will be the year that my plans push thru!

This will start with a role change at work where i'll be finally be put into a more technical role. I know it'll be difficult going back to being DM and tickets, I know i'll regret being on shift again on holidays, I know there'll be sleepless nights because of big issues but at least this is what I choose to do. (second choice that is)

Then we've got Australia with my sisters in March. I'm looking forward to that because it's the first visa-needing out of the country trip i'll have. It'll be out of Asia and it'll be a whole different season (autumn!) and enviro. OOOH, and I hope Wicked will still be showing there. To the great outback, here we come!!

And 2 years in the making, i'll have the EURO TRIP with chesca!!! We've been moving and moving this but i know this time it'll push thru. We'll be planning this ourselves so i'm expecting mistakes and inefficiencies in prices and scheduling but it will be great! mistakes and all! that's what's fun being with chesca, it doesnt really matter how many mistakes or wrong turns you made, because the journey is the adventure! Idol ko si chess! ang lakas ng loob, hehehehe.

Highschool friends are planning our first major out of the country trip too -- somewhere in asia lang. After SCs wedding. This is another experience altogether. Out with the girls -- girl bonding and girlie activities. hehehe. I know it'll be fun...and magastos. I have no idea where i'll get the money yet, but as long as I have work then it'll come. =P

Speaking of work, this year i'll be turning 5 in HP. WHEW, yes it has been THAT long. I'm actually a senior now in the team and it feels good and awful at the same time. Good because i know the ins and outs already, but awful because I know i'm getting old! hahahha, yes people are mostly younger than me nowadays. So this year, i'm looking at updating my resume. Its been great with HP but I want adventure out of the country -- Singapore specifically where it might be a good and safe place to start. I want to do this with chesca who is a seasoned OFW. hehehe If she gets a job there i'll start looking too.

And in between these major plans, I have a bucket list which will definitely go hand in hand with the 27 things I'll have to accomplish while i'm 27. Who knows, maybe i'll find love this year....maybe not. Definitely, I'll find God and thru each and every experience I'll praise Him for giving me these opportunities to experience life and share myself to the world.

ready to run!

i'm so excited... i just can't hide it! it will be my first run tomorrow morning. hopefully this will be the start of many more runs. ...and maybe this may be the way to get to know you-know-who. hehehe

if i could only write it all down here..i would. but for now i'd rather keep these exciting stuff in my head. =P

dating

so i told my highschool friends to set me up on a date. the thought runs chills down my spine. what if i dont like him from the start? what to talk about? what to wear? what if we have totally nothing to talk about anymore? what to do after if you dont like him?

why go out with a complete stranger? sounds insane to me. on the other hand, it is still just as difficult and awkward to think of dating a guy friend. for one, you definitely have something to talk about. you have things in common. you know he's great to hang out with. you know how he looks and sometimes this wont matter as much coz you already know the personality -- so in a way madadala na lang yun kahit di mo talaga type. he's probably seen you in your worst and knows trash about you but likes (as in you are friends) you anyway. BUT if things turn sour then can you just go back to being friends? Won't it get weird transitioning from thinking of him as a friend to something more?

I really try not looking at guys (guy friends) as prospects so that you can see and get to know them in a very objective light. Not just seeing the pogi points but knowing them for who they really are. It makes it extra difficult though to see them in a different light afterwards. The problem with me is that if i like a person as in crush-like then i become weird around them. hahaha -- eto na ang effects of growing up in an all girls' school. I think that i'm very obvious around my crushes.... i might either just keep on smiling, be too conscious about myself, or be masungit to counter being obvious.

SO. How DO I meet my 'One'? Am I even fit for this relationship stuff? Is it meant for me to pair up or maybe i'm meant to be single forever?

In Limbo

I like this post from Daxx (one of our parish-mates). This is what I've been doing wrong for so long. Can someone tell me and help me get out of this and reverse this so that I can now steer my own direction? Finally I have turned off all the different compasses from other people but am just going round aimlessly. I know there is only ONE compass I need, and that is God but somehow I can't truly sense it yet.
-----
The vast majority of us, since childhood, have been trying desperately to prove our worth. We try to prove our worth to our parents, teachers, friends and lovers.We become so absorbed in meeting their standards that we missed out finding our own potential.

To focus our life in proving ourselves to others is not only a loosing battle but a waste of time. 

The downside of proving your worth to others is that different people has different standards of what being “worthy” means. To be obsessed in proving our worth to another person is to give that person control in your life. Now think how many persons are you trying to prove your worth? 

Ten?  

That mean 10 people are somehow stirring your life in 10 different directions. 

Feeling dizzy?

If we give more time meeting other’s standards, we may sacrifice finding our own identity. 

God did not create us to prove ourselves to others, but to live life to the full. Jesus Himself said: “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” And we shall find life’s fullness in discovering and living out our vocation. Our vocation is God’s will, calling and plan for our lives. 

“Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work.” -John 4:34   

To discover and realize God’s plans for our lives is to open ourselves to unlimited possibilities that we have not even come to imagine. Living out our vocation is to let the seed of greatness that God planted in us grow. And like a small mustard seed, it shall grow into a great tree. 

The road to greatness is the path of discovering our God given gifts and living out our vocation. We should stop trying to meet other people’s standards and start living in His. 

In every one of us lies a great potential. 

You do not need to prove it. 

It is there.

What you need to do is live it.

…unlimited possibilities awaits.



Blog by Daxx Bondoc
(www.inspirationalblogs.com)

500 days of summer

I loved how they got a long really well and the fun they got into. Tom is a "nice guy" (you know the quote, nice guys finish last) and he really grew onto me. All throughout, I was still wishing hoping that she'll change her mind about relationships specially that they really had great chemistry. Awww... but they were just not meant to be. SAD. Had a good time watching with Len, Elds and Moe -- the singles club. hahaha 


Some ouch quotes (the last one particularly struck me)
Tom: You don't want to be named as someone's boyfriend, and now your someone's wife
~~
Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me. 
~~
Rachel Hansen: Tom, I know you think she was the one, but I don't. Next time you look back, I think you should look again. 
~~

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you. 

And some awww quotes

Paul: Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She's real. 

~~

Tom: It's official. I'm in love with Summer.
[while Montage of Summer plays]
Tom: I love her smile. I love her hair. I love her knees. I love how she licks her lips before she talks. I love her heart-shaped birthmark on her neck. I love it when she sleeps. 

Everything

there's this little spark of hope deep inside of me that there might be someone for me out there =) I close my eyes and think about it, feel it sinking in and chills run thru me. The kind of chills that give you a sense of happiness and excitement, but at the same time draws the same feeling of fear and uncertainty.

And there's this song that captures how i'd like to feel when i find my ONE...


You’re a falling star, You’re the get away car.
You’re the line in the sand when I go too far.
You’re the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you’re the perfect thing to see.

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don’t pretend, that you don’t know it’s true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy  life, and through these crazy time
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.



You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space,
You’re every minute of my everyday.

And I can’t believe, uh that I’m your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we’ll see it through,
And you know that’s what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.
You’re every song, and I sing along.
Cause you’re my everything.
Yeah, yeah
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

EMO moment

Found this in the drafts of my phone. I usually have these moments when it's traffic and I'm on my way home or walking to my dad's office after work. After a long day, when the noise and buzz in the office is gone, I find some silence and get to listen to myself.

8/26: In the homeroom class when I was a high school freshman, we were asked to share our dreams. I was not very far from who I am now -- I said that I wanted to be happy. I didn't have any specifics because I didn't want to make plans involving other people because I had no control over them. Looking back, I realize that I really never made plans or dreams for myself at all. I now understand why this caught our guidance counselor's attention. It was a bad move and now it can't be undone. I had been moving aimlessly in no particular direction these 26 years. What I CAN DO is to start making plans. To start figuring out what I want for myself.

And I'm happy that I've started doing this...baby steps at least. Ultimate dream would be to work in Google -- but I know that would entail a LOT of sacrifice but i'm not sure if that's something I'm willing to give. The rest are in my bucket list. :)

27 around the corner

its almost the end of the year and i can feel that 27 (years) is itching around the corner. the year just passed me by! i've been 26 for --- let me count -- almost 8 months and what have i accomplished??! that's the story of my life. each of those 26 years where i've been waiting for things to happen. IT ENDS NOW! (well yesterday actually when i thought of this blog entry)

I promise to myself that every year i have to try X number of new things or goals. (X being my age). hahaha yes math talk. SO since i've got barely 4 months, i have to catch up with the 26 targets!

Things i've done
1. Visit Singapore-- July 2009 with Karina and ivan
2. Try lots and lots of new places to eat (that's another list altogether)
3. Sky walk and ride in Cebu -- August 2009 trip with officemates
4. Wake boarding in Camsur (only successful with knee boarding though), visited Caramoan and saw the Mayon volcano in Legaspi! -- November 2009
5. Jumped off a 30 ft high bridge after white river rafting in CDO with sistas, pao, ivan and gab -- November 2009
6. bought myself a camera....which this time i'll actually use -- July 2009 in Sing
7. Learning classical guitar at the parish (and tried playing violin at the office) -- later end of 2009
8. target to lose weight by November --be back at my 120 lbs or under 125 lbs at least
9. building a web tool (with Eleni) -- staggered all year hehehe
10. tried smoking (Tish's visit last February) ....and shisha too. i liked shisha better
11. watch a whole lot of musicals --spelling bee and spring awakening (and got a picture with Sitti and Joaquin) and your songs with Lea Salonga this December (may autograph pa!)
12. spelunking in Pangasinan with the family (and sina tito efren)
13. big change in my hair color ...yes reddish brown. and i love it!
14. went out on a date (with Moe after tennis last December 30) -- this should count because it was dinner and it was just the 2 of us... KKB nga lang hahaha
15. get SAP certified -- December 4
16. watched David Archuleta and David Cook live in Manila! woot woot!
17. paint the house lifestyle channel-style. Yes we did this after the workers installed the new windows. It was so fun doing this with the siblings. =) Surprisingly we're good at it! hahaha
18. attend yoga and cycling (and even regularly hit the gym)
19. drove with eleni to a radio station to get free tickets to the last eheads concert....and we watched the same night! this is in one of the most spontaneous things i've ever done
20. learned how to jumpstart a car
21. tried (not successful) skim boarding with officemates -- May 2009
22. run a marathon - 5k last December 20 with Teri and Paul
23. watch in 3D -- harry potter and avatar!
24. get closer to GOD
25. get voter's ID (half point) and naubusan ng  gas (half point)
26. drank a lot of alcohol, nearly drunk and even threw up! hahahaha

another one for the list

Just watched august rush and i can cross this one out in my list! Definitely i'll keep this in my ipod to listen to over and over. i must download the soundtrack!!

I'm so happy that i'm getting somewhere in my lists. Typical that the places to eat get to be updated the most. haha

To Watch (in no particular order)

1. August Rush - 5Oct09
2. Bridget Jones Diary
3. Notebook (i've seen this but just want to re-watch)
4. Terms of Endearment
5. When Harry met Sally (another re-watch)
6. Steel Magnolias
7. Let the right one in
8. IP Man
9. Yes Man
10. Shawshank Redemption
11. Monsters vs. Aliens
12. Public Enemies
13. The Reader
14. Revolutionary Road
15. Wall-e

To Eat:

1. Imbis Stueb @ Wilson : eat all you can sausage (in front of Dec)
2. Choi garden ?
3. Uncle Cheffys @ Eastwood
4. Ristra's @ Wilson
5. Charlie's @ Pioneer : steak, black angus burger
6. Khao Pad @ Ortigas Home depot : what used to be Thai kitchen at UP
7. Cocina Juan @ teacher's village, i think
8. Dave's Onstot Yogurt @ pioneer
9. Buffalo's @ Metrowalk

Other bucket list stuff

1. Visit each continent (kahit hindi Antarctica)
2. Go to Greece (mama mia style)
3. Backpack in Egypt
4. Europe!! Must go to: Spain, Rome, Venice, Eiffel, Louvre, and lots more!!
5. New York - for broadway and US Open
6. Watch a tennis grandslam ... any of them!
7. South america
8. Sky dive
9. See aurora Borealis / Northern lights

And i'm just getting started making the lists and making them come true!

things i have to do alone

inspired by 'and i love her so' (hahaha, yeah the tagalog movie!)

1. watch a movie

2. eat in a restaurant

3. travel out of town (possibly by plane or road trip)

where am i going?

i wonder what i'm doing to my life. am i going in circles? am i going aimlessly in a straight direction? can someone show me a compass? I actually know the answer... i need to decide on a destination. haaay. Life is short. Have. To. Choose. Now.

crazy over hairspray

Watched hairspray with lou, rain and alan last weekend (the 2 guys not knowing what they got into.hehehe). I could not help but think of Chesca the whole time -- no, Tracy did not remind me of her! It's just a movie that I knew she would have loved and it would be a blast watching with her. I bet kikiligin si Chess kay Zach Efron (the high school musical guy). Who would have imagined the cyclops guy could sing and dance! And I never imagined how John Travolta could play a lady... a fat lady at that. Super daming mga famous actors, which I think made it a little interesting coz it's just a non-typical movie. Good thing they started making the musicals into films. Good thing they're staging Avenue Q here, too. Can't wait!

goodbye gilmore girls

It's really sad that Gilmore girls has already ended. I've been catching up for the past few weeks on the 7th season not knowing that the episodes were the last. It's overwhelming how the events turned out watching the last 4 episodes for the past hours. It's such a shame that it didn't work out with Logan (cute!)... I really thought things were going okay. Well, that was what I thought of Christopher & Lorelai -- and that turned out sour as well. Oh, i just love Rory and Lorelai's witty remarks, fast-paced talking, crazy ideas and just their chemistry! It's like something has really ended, and it's sad not knowing how things will be. I just want to watch them and see what happens. I'm attached! I'll miss Rory and Lorelai. (I'd like to be like them) Gosh, really got myself addicted to this series. *Yawn* Now i'll just have to keep up with my own life. *Yawn* heheheh

kung hei FAT choi

year of the pig pala -- my year! sana it brings me luck. :) i thought of making my new year resolutions this chinese new year since i didn't have a post for the calendar new year, (yaw ko na isipin why i was too busy during the new year to blog, arg!) new year resolutions/goals: 1. be optimistic - think happy thoughts! 2. make short and long term goals 3. keep on trying new things -- get out of my comfort zone 4. read at least 1 book a month 5. exercise (seriously need to shed those pounds) 6. relax more 7. learn how to edit videos, use photoshop 8. pray more

*Sigh*

I havent felt this tired in a loooong time. I have found new meaning to the word fatigue. It's not just physical, you know. Tired of thinking, stressing, knowing that the emails will keep on coming, that tasks are piling up, my 'to do list' keeps getting longer. It kinda reminds me of college. College without having a definite end to this agony. I wont have a sembreak that will relax my body, mind and spirit. I wont have that fresh new that the new sem brings in. I miss school.

Prime

Most movies end up happily ever--together. In Prime, though, they did end up happy but living separate lives. It's nice, reassuring perhaps, but it's not exactly how you wanted it to end. "You love, you learn, you move on" -- Lisa (Meryl Streep)

Au Revoir, Choo!

To marimba Chiu-ner To pranks To water breaks (iigib ng tubig sa pantry) To snacks (share your snacks, don't grow fat alone) To Q&A sessions To grammar and spell checks To HP crushes To hang-ups To books To your music influences To nights at Tbar To google-earth-stalking To kabastusan that you'd explain coz i didn't understand Miss you choo!

For Tito Nonong

We picture Death as coming to destroy ... let us rather see it as Christ coming to save We think of Death as an ending ... rather think of it as new life beginning We think of it as losing ... rather let us think of it as winning, as final victory We think of Death as parting ... rather think of it as a meeting ... of loved ones We think of it as going away ... rather think of it as arriving... Home at last!

Tito Nonong, I'm glad you're home. We will miss you though...