Back where I started

The theme of 2010 is searching and self discovery.
I wanted to be fearless and not hold back. I took chances. I tried things out of my comfort zone. I sought ways to learn new things. I searched for my spirituality. I found happiness in myself and in a developing relationship with God. I was happy being fearless, I was falling in love. But now, I find myself not necessarily back exactly at my starting point, but at some point resembling the start. I'm unsure what makes me happy, what i want to do. But now I'm different. I've changed over the year. In my journey of self discovery, I'm discovering the selfish Sarah. Or is it that I have evolved into a selfish form of myself? (not like i was not selfish before, but there's a new facet to it now). In trying to know what makes ME happy, it what drives ME, developing ME, I might have put too much focus on ME. I'm happy that I can now feed the wants I have and not over think of the implications on my image or what I must do... I do things because I want or feel like it. However I have come to lose the part of connection with others. Too much focus on me, I lost focus on relationships with other people. I have put myself at the top and have been unable to balance the implications of my actions and wants to how I treat others.  I find that sad, but the feeling of regret is not so strong. I'm still trying to seek balance in not being consumed by what others think, and pleasing others and being able to acknowledge my own wants.

I feel that I'm back to where I started in terms of direction. I don't have a clear direction where to go from here. But i'm a different person now... hopefully a better, more rounded person.