Everything

there's this little spark of hope deep inside of me that there might be someone for me out there =) I close my eyes and think about it, feel it sinking in and chills run thru me. The kind of chills that give you a sense of happiness and excitement, but at the same time draws the same feeling of fear and uncertainty.

And there's this song that captures how i'd like to feel when i find my ONE...


You’re a falling star, You’re the get away car.
You’re the line in the sand when I go too far.
You’re the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you’re the perfect thing to see.

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don’t pretend, that you don’t know it’s true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy  life, and through these crazy time
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.



You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space,
You’re every minute of my everyday.

And I can’t believe, uh that I’m your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we’ll see it through,
And you know that’s what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.
You’re every song, and I sing along.
Cause you’re my everything.
Yeah, yeah
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

EMO moment

Found this in the drafts of my phone. I usually have these moments when it's traffic and I'm on my way home or walking to my dad's office after work. After a long day, when the noise and buzz in the office is gone, I find some silence and get to listen to myself.

8/26: In the homeroom class when I was a high school freshman, we were asked to share our dreams. I was not very far from who I am now -- I said that I wanted to be happy. I didn't have any specifics because I didn't want to make plans involving other people because I had no control over them. Looking back, I realize that I really never made plans or dreams for myself at all. I now understand why this caught our guidance counselor's attention. It was a bad move and now it can't be undone. I had been moving aimlessly in no particular direction these 26 years. What I CAN DO is to start making plans. To start figuring out what I want for myself.

And I'm happy that I've started doing this...baby steps at least. Ultimate dream would be to work in Google -- but I know that would entail a LOT of sacrifice but i'm not sure if that's something I'm willing to give. The rest are in my bucket list. :)

27 around the corner

its almost the end of the year and i can feel that 27 (years) is itching around the corner. the year just passed me by! i've been 26 for --- let me count -- almost 8 months and what have i accomplished??! that's the story of my life. each of those 26 years where i've been waiting for things to happen. IT ENDS NOW! (well yesterday actually when i thought of this blog entry)

I promise to myself that every year i have to try X number of new things or goals. (X being my age). hahaha yes math talk. SO since i've got barely 4 months, i have to catch up with the 26 targets!

Things i've done
1. Visit Singapore-- July 2009 with Karina and ivan
2. Try lots and lots of new places to eat (that's another list altogether)
3. Sky walk and ride in Cebu -- August 2009 trip with officemates
4. Wake boarding in Camsur (only successful with knee boarding though), visited Caramoan and saw the Mayon volcano in Legaspi! -- November 2009
5. Jumped off a 30 ft high bridge after white river rafting in CDO with sistas, pao, ivan and gab -- November 2009
6. bought myself a camera....which this time i'll actually use -- July 2009 in Sing
7. Learning classical guitar at the parish (and tried playing violin at the office) -- later end of 2009
8. target to lose weight by November --be back at my 120 lbs or under 125 lbs at least
9. building a web tool (with Eleni) -- staggered all year hehehe
10. tried smoking (Tish's visit last February) ....and shisha too. i liked shisha better
11. watch a whole lot of musicals --spelling bee and spring awakening (and got a picture with Sitti and Joaquin) and your songs with Lea Salonga this December (may autograph pa!)
12. spelunking in Pangasinan with the family (and sina tito efren)
13. big change in my hair color ...yes reddish brown. and i love it!
14. went out on a date (with Moe after tennis last December 30) -- this should count because it was dinner and it was just the 2 of us... KKB nga lang hahaha
15. get SAP certified -- December 4
16. watched David Archuleta and David Cook live in Manila! woot woot!
17. paint the house lifestyle channel-style. Yes we did this after the workers installed the new windows. It was so fun doing this with the siblings. =) Surprisingly we're good at it! hahaha
18. attend yoga and cycling (and even regularly hit the gym)
19. drove with eleni to a radio station to get free tickets to the last eheads concert....and we watched the same night! this is in one of the most spontaneous things i've ever done
20. learned how to jumpstart a car
21. tried (not successful) skim boarding with officemates -- May 2009
22. run a marathon - 5k last December 20 with Teri and Paul
23. watch in 3D -- harry potter and avatar!
24. get closer to GOD
25. get voter's ID (half point) and naubusan ng  gas (half point)
26. drank a lot of alcohol, nearly drunk and even threw up! hahahaha

another one for the list

Just watched august rush and i can cross this one out in my list! Definitely i'll keep this in my ipod to listen to over and over. i must download the soundtrack!!

I'm so happy that i'm getting somewhere in my lists. Typical that the places to eat get to be updated the most. haha

To Watch (in no particular order)

1. August Rush - 5Oct09
2. Bridget Jones Diary
3. Notebook (i've seen this but just want to re-watch)
4. Terms of Endearment
5. When Harry met Sally (another re-watch)
6. Steel Magnolias
7. Let the right one in
8. IP Man
9. Yes Man
10. Shawshank Redemption
11. Monsters vs. Aliens
12. Public Enemies
13. The Reader
14. Revolutionary Road
15. Wall-e

To Eat:

1. Imbis Stueb @ Wilson : eat all you can sausage (in front of Dec)
2. Choi garden ?
3. Uncle Cheffys @ Eastwood
4. Ristra's @ Wilson
5. Charlie's @ Pioneer : steak, black angus burger
6. Khao Pad @ Ortigas Home depot : what used to be Thai kitchen at UP
7. Cocina Juan @ teacher's village, i think
8. Dave's Onstot Yogurt @ pioneer
9. Buffalo's @ Metrowalk

Other bucket list stuff

1. Visit each continent (kahit hindi Antarctica)
2. Go to Greece (mama mia style)
3. Backpack in Egypt
4. Europe!! Must go to: Spain, Rome, Venice, Eiffel, Louvre, and lots more!!
5. New York - for broadway and US Open
6. Watch a tennis grandslam ... any of them!
7. South america
8. Sky dive
9. See aurora Borealis / Northern lights

And i'm just getting started making the lists and making them come true!

things i have to do alone

inspired by 'and i love her so' (hahaha, yeah the tagalog movie!)

1. watch a movie

2. eat in a restaurant

3. travel out of town (possibly by plane or road trip)

where am i going?

i wonder what i'm doing to my life. am i going in circles? am i going aimlessly in a straight direction? can someone show me a compass? I actually know the answer... i need to decide on a destination. haaay. Life is short. Have. To. Choose. Now.

crazy over hairspray

Watched hairspray with lou, rain and alan last weekend (the 2 guys not knowing what they got into.hehehe). I could not help but think of Chesca the whole time -- no, Tracy did not remind me of her! It's just a movie that I knew she would have loved and it would be a blast watching with her. I bet kikiligin si Chess kay Zach Efron (the high school musical guy). Who would have imagined the cyclops guy could sing and dance! And I never imagined how John Travolta could play a lady... a fat lady at that. Super daming mga famous actors, which I think made it a little interesting coz it's just a non-typical movie. Good thing they started making the musicals into films. Good thing they're staging Avenue Q here, too. Can't wait!

goodbye gilmore girls

It's really sad that Gilmore girls has already ended. I've been catching up for the past few weeks on the 7th season not knowing that the episodes were the last. It's overwhelming how the events turned out watching the last 4 episodes for the past hours. It's such a shame that it didn't work out with Logan (cute!)... I really thought things were going okay. Well, that was what I thought of Christopher & Lorelai -- and that turned out sour as well. Oh, i just love Rory and Lorelai's witty remarks, fast-paced talking, crazy ideas and just their chemistry! It's like something has really ended, and it's sad not knowing how things will be. I just want to watch them and see what happens. I'm attached! I'll miss Rory and Lorelai. (I'd like to be like them) Gosh, really got myself addicted to this series. *Yawn* Now i'll just have to keep up with my own life. *Yawn* heheheh

kung hei FAT choi

year of the pig pala -- my year! sana it brings me luck. :) i thought of making my new year resolutions this chinese new year since i didn't have a post for the calendar new year, (yaw ko na isipin why i was too busy during the new year to blog, arg!) new year resolutions/goals: 1. be optimistic - think happy thoughts! 2. make short and long term goals 3. keep on trying new things -- get out of my comfort zone 4. read at least 1 book a month 5. exercise (seriously need to shed those pounds) 6. relax more 7. learn how to edit videos, use photoshop 8. pray more

*Sigh*

I havent felt this tired in a loooong time. I have found new meaning to the word fatigue. It's not just physical, you know. Tired of thinking, stressing, knowing that the emails will keep on coming, that tasks are piling up, my 'to do list' keeps getting longer. It kinda reminds me of college. College without having a definite end to this agony. I wont have a sembreak that will relax my body, mind and spirit. I wont have that fresh new that the new sem brings in. I miss school.

Prime

Most movies end up happily ever--together. In Prime, though, they did end up happy but living separate lives. It's nice, reassuring perhaps, but it's not exactly how you wanted it to end. "You love, you learn, you move on" -- Lisa (Meryl Streep)

Au Revoir, Choo!

To marimba Chiu-ner To pranks To water breaks (iigib ng tubig sa pantry) To snacks (share your snacks, don't grow fat alone) To Q&A sessions To grammar and spell checks To HP crushes To hang-ups To books To your music influences To nights at Tbar To google-earth-stalking To kabastusan that you'd explain coz i didn't understand Miss you choo!

For Tito Nonong

We picture Death as coming to destroy ... let us rather see it as Christ coming to save We think of Death as an ending ... rather think of it as new life beginning We think of it as losing ... rather let us think of it as winning, as final victory We think of Death as parting ... rather think of it as a meeting ... of loved ones We think of it as going away ... rather think of it as arriving... Home at last!

Tito Nonong, I'm glad you're home. We will miss you though...

Nice Guys

Naisip ko si George O'malley while reading this.hehehe

.o0O0o.

Ode to the Nice Guys This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys who finish last, who never become more than friends, who endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys who obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: oh, but were just friends! And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as oh, he’s too nice to date or he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out! or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship. Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to- date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (Im going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy- finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Breaking Free (ala high school musical)

I want adventure in this great wide somewhere. I'm just tired of the same old things. There are so many things to try and little by little i want to put myself out there and really experience the world! And how do i start? Black eyed peas, ice skating, blogging, and whale watching (soon!). Kahit ano as long as i don't break the law. Well, speaking of the law... I almost had my first driving ticket. Almost because i paid the guy off. Haay, i never imagined that i could bribe someone. I drove to mall of asia and i suppose it was plain stupidity that led me to turn to the wrong lane. Freakin counter flow! I was called by some men in uniform and there it all happened. It took a long time though before i could do it--didn't actually know how to say it without explicitly implying (can i actually use those words that way?) that i was bribing them. Don't ask me na lang how much. Charge it to experience.

Mind over heart

Being sick the past few days has given me the opportunity to catch up on my reading. Who would've thought that i'd stumble on such a beautiful idea (that i so agree on!) in Eldest by Paolini? "... being a decent person is no guarantee that you will act well, which brings us back to the one protection we have against our demagogues, tricksters, and the madness of crowds, and our surest guide through the uncertain shoals of life: clear and reasonable thinking. Logic will never fail you, unless you're unaware of --or deliberately ignore--the consequences of your deeds..." This is why I like being logical...

Forever lovers and forever friends (mush!)

Finally, i got to watch The Notebook. Parang college pa lang ata, super gusto na ng ICTUS friends ko panuorin yun kse pang "forever lovers" daw sha.hehehe. I've read the book long before pa, and i think the movie gave justice naman to the book. Pero syempre, i like the book better. The story is just so sweet and beautiful. It's something you'd aspire to have for yourself. The growing old with someone part is not often the most romanticized in movies, but here you see that it's even more touching than when they were younger. (oops, did i just spoil it?)

.o0O0o.

Last week, one of my closest friends left for the US. It has long been her plan to work or live in the US ever since highschool, and now finally had her chance. Her notice was very short and my friends were hardly able to give her a despedida. None of us cried that night -- perhaps partially because Bunny had often gone to the US on vacations (and this was just like one of those), Or perhaps because we had grown numb(but i hope not!) since Monica then Tisha's leaving. Or perhaps it's because we just know that our friendship will withstand the distance. (Sarah, isthatchu?) Besides, there's always webcam, email, YM. Bunny, good luck and take care!

Congrats to Rain and Lou!

It was rain and lou's wedding yesterday. It's the first time to have friends getting married. It's really sweet and romantic to see the boyfriend-girlfriend turn into a life long committment. They were really happy and i'm so excited for them. :) Congratulations and best wishes to Rain and Lou!

.o0O0o.

Not so long ago I could already see myself getting married too. I would've been engaged around 2 years from now. And the wedding would've been a year after the engagement. It was an exciting thought. But things didn't turn out as planned and perhaps that is a good thing. I'm still young and in no hurry. God will send me the one in the right time. To my highschool barkada, sino kaya saten ang mauuna ikasal? =)

Puppy luv

We adopted Nutmeg from Tita Nene a month ago. She's about 4 months old i think. She's half Labrador and half askal.hehehe. Nutmeg is super playful. She really can't stay put and she always has to have something inside her mouth. Anything from twigs, dried leaves, santol fruits, stones, bones, my ankles, my fingers, my watch, slippers, grass, the pineapple plant. She loves to jump on you and attack you from behind. She loves rolling over and having someone rub her belly. I've forgotten how fun it is to have a dog you can play with...caper just wasn't the playful type. I was always a bit scared of him.hehehe We're trying to potty train her and teach her some simple commands. So far, she's doing pretty well with "sit". She poops in the same area--most of the time.

murphy's law strikes again

tonight's my last night of my DM week. consistently, something unfortunate happened. believe me.. something bad always (no fail) happens during my duty manager week. 1st - begin your DM with a big issue! shipment number range 2nd - DM during the 3 or 2 day work week when everyone was on vacation, specially people from the province (*wink*) who rarely get the chance to be home 3rd - PLDT line in antipolo stolen. supporting without phone line, without DSL. note: AE BR checking still going on 4th - March DM. everyone knows what happened...i think. 5th - now. stormy weather. nice cool and windy atmosphere..but hey, in antipolo when the wind blows, the lights go out. and it did. and when the rain came, our phone line was grounded. ergo, no electricity + no phone. at least that lasted for 2 nights only. when you look at the list, what happened this week doesn't seem that bad afterall. but hey, can't i have a normal DM week?